good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
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remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
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She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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