Will you blow on my dice?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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