One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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