i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
