I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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