Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
