its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
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So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
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Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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