I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
