Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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