If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I think people are normalizing furries
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
