Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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