Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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