I wannas sexs uuuuu
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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