went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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