So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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