they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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