Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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