I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
