Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
