is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
