that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
