i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize