Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Randomize
