I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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