Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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