I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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