new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just had sex bonerless
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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