He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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