thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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