There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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