No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
