at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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