i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Farmville is her only friend.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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