i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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