I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize