i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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