sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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