She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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