Say something about gay babies.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
