I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
