There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
