i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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