there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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