she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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