Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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