but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
