We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
