In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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