Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
