Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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