In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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