so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
