woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
