my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize