You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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