pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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