i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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