You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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