The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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