these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
