I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I will pee on everything he values.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
